Here I am, at five-ish in the morning, trying to rush out an article which is supposed to be due yesterday. I am exhausted. Since Kenan was about 5.5 months old, the hours of nap he takes each day has reduced drastically. I cannot no longer find blocks of two, three hours at any one time to do my work. I once thought those early days of seemingly endless diaper-changing and breastfeeding will be the toughest, I am obviously wrong.
As he grows older, he is demanding more time and energy from me. He is now on semi-solids and it takes much more time to prepare his meals and feed him than just simply letting him latch and breastfeed.
I am really desperate for a solution. I definitely don’t want to sacrifice my career, because I really LOVE what I do. In fact, there’s so much more I wish I can do. But at this rate it goes, I might have to drastically reduce the amount of work I take on, or I might fall ill from only sleeping three, four hours a day and have to stop working anyway.
It’s a scenario I dread. Before I find the solution, I guess I will just have to grit my teeth and press on.
It’s been my choice to be a WAHM, I had thought that it would be the best I can do for my child and for my career. I don’t think that decision has been totally wrong, just that perhaps it doesn’t fit the career of a writer just as well as compared to some other work that I can do from home. Honestly, I am not sure.
Once I’ve finished this assignment, I’ll go google and see how other WAHMs cope. But before I do that, I shall go catch up on some sleep. I really need my beauty sleep. These days, I don't even dare look at myself in the mirror for I dread seeing the dark undereye rings and discover how haggard I might have become. People marvel at how fast I've lost weight after giving birth. Trying doing what I do and I guarantee that you will bounce back to your original size just as quickly. Go ahead, try it.
Anyway, I've ranted enough, better get back to work before my son wakes up crying for milk again.
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