I had initially planned on writing a Mother’s Day post, but just couldn’t get the words out. To be honest, it felt just like any other day, except that the husband’s little surprises this year made it all so special for me, even when I didn’t feel that way.
First, there was the cake…
Then a card which made me cry...
Even the son did his part with a card he made in school (I asked him who is it for, he said it’s for himself! *LAUGHS*)
But touched as I was, I couldn't help feeling guilty. Guilty that I have been working too much lately and haven’t spend enough time with my boy; guilty that besides play, I haven't been doing much learning related activities with him; guilty that I have been spending more time online than being present with my son.
But as the "mommy guilt" grew, I realised I better stop berating myself as it does nothing to make the situation any better.
As I reflected on what I'm feeling, I am making a commitment this Mother's Day to change and to be a better mom.
I will set aside time for my son every day, remembering that he’s the very reason I’m a WAHM.
I will be more organised and stay focused when I work (no distractions from FB, Twitter etc.) so I don’t waste precious time and end up complaining there isn't enough time.
I will remind myself not to be a 'kiasu' mom and that it doesn’t matter if some of my boy’s peers can count up to 20, if he’s not ready to do so, so be it. He’s just a two year-old, let him enjoy his childhood, some things can wait.
On the same note, I will take time to discover and nurture my son’s unique gifts and talents, remembering that what other parents do don't necessarily benefit my son nor will he lose out if we don't follow suit.
Lastly, I will stop comparing myself with other moms. My boy doesn’t need a mom who’s feeling inadequate and lousy about herself, he needs a mom who feels happy being a mom and believes in her own strengths. I will stop berating myself and instead look at how I can improve and be a better mom and individual.
I want to add that being a mom is a special blessing every day, and not just on Mother’s Day. It include those days when everything seems to be going wrong and the house is in an incredible mess, the kids are throwing incessant tantrums and you lost it and yelled at them. It definitely doesn’t feel like it's such a blessing on those days, but isn't the very fact that our kids are with us something precious and worth giving thanks for as a mom?
Do you sometimes feel the "mommy guilt" or sense of inadequacy as a mom? How do you deal with these feelings?