Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Mom's Guilt

I was in the living room working on my laptop when I heard Kenan making some noises in the room. He was supposed to be sleeping. I didn’t respond immediately, thinking I’ll let him cry for a while. A few minutes went by before I went in to check on him.

I saw that his eyes were closed, could he be having a nightmare? I patted him lightly on his chest and whispered “It’s ok, mommy’s here” and he IMMEDIATELY quiet down.

At that very moment, guilt overwhelmed me and for the second time in a span of three days, I cried again. I didn’t know that I could have such an impact on my son, I didn’t know that my presence could give him such a sense of security that he could immediately calm down. If I had known, I would have gone into the room earlier. Sorry Kenan, it’s mommy’s fault. Mommy loves you, always.

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